We all long for something a bit naughty. It's biological to search for new and intriguing. The majority of us fantasize about the same things, which fall into the categories of group sex, novelties, and power exchange. How do you go about asking for that in an existing relationship or a new encounter? It comes down to negotiation, and every negotiation is a different beast. If you are new to the concept or need to polish your skills, I want to touch on the proper tools to convey your intended desires of fulfillment. Being confident that your request is even possible is probably the first thing you should consider. When formulating this question of burning desire, use logic, and sensitivity to the perspective of all parties involved. Knowing your role in negotiations, finding the right environment, being specific, and respecting the reputations involved are elements of successful negotiations.
Figure out which role you are playing in this negotiation. Then decide what your intent is, and be willing to compromise a little. In every exchange of power, someone is in control and someone submitting to control. Which are you asking for or offering up in this scenario? I think we don't realize how much power is in submission and how much we submit too. In reality, Submissives create the power by the very act of their submission and, with boundaries, offer it to the Dominant to control. This creates the embodiment of the realm of power being exchanged. It is then on the Dominant to wield that power and control while respecting the boundaries of the submissive.
When I refer to the environment, I mean cultivating the right setting or situation. The depth of your desire, coupled with knowledge of your relationship, should create an idea of the atmosphere that leads to yes.
If you are asking your partner for a threesome, I would suggest doing so in the comfort of a safe place. But if you are asking a girl to come home with you, the setting is more about a feeling and less about surroundings. You are making each other comfortable and confident in your decision making
All too often, we do not adequately express ourselves. Being detailed with your wants and needs helps put more on the table to negotiate. Plus, it keys your partner or potential playmate into options for themselves. Maybe they don't have the same fantasy but are open to a version that makes them feel comfortable. Express those things appropriately, and you could elevate your experiences and intimacy. Know your worth and that it is worth asking is also essential!
Leading to what I meant by reputation, I do not mean you should manipulate an individual with your knowledge of them. I am talking about what reputation you have with them so far. If you have been with someone a long time, you probably have a decent understanding of what they would be open to—utilize that knowledge in asking. If you are exploring spontaneously with a new partner, take into account your interactions so far. Are they kinky or vanilla, risky, or tame? That creates the boundaries of your question.
Know we all have some fantasy; we would love to play out. Having the conversation opens the door to those possibilities, and if you culminate the right environment that breeds success. Using sensitivity, honesty, and even conveying your intentions with eye contact can be very soothing to the situation. Respecting the role you are asking to play and being detailed sets the gateway for a positive outcome.
So go forth and negotiate. Do it on paper if it helps!
Written by Princess Unity